Frequently Asked Questions

 

What is a PFA?

Protection From Abuse Order is a binding civil court order that prohibits batterers from harming their victims again. These orders serve as a critical component to ensure a battered woman’s safety.
In addition to ordering the abuse to cease, PFA’s may also include the following relief:

• Directing a batterer to have no contact with the victim and/or her family
• Barring or evicting the offender from the home
• Confiscating a batterer’s weapons
• Granting temporary custody of the children to the battered woman
• Limiting a batterer’s visitation or allowing only supervised visits with children
• Directing the batterer not to stalk the victim

A batterer who violates a PFA may face indirect criminal contempt charges and could be fined $1,000 and/or jailed for up to six months.

 

Who is eligible for a PFA?

Individuals who are experiencing domestic abuse at the hands of a current or former spouse, family member, or intimate partner and can show probable cause why this protection is needed.

 

Who are the victims?

Anyone can be a victim, regardless of socioeconomic, ethnic, religious, racial background, or age.

 

Who are the perpetrators?

Perpetrator is a person who assumes the right to control a partner or family member and refuses to take responsibility for their destructive behavior.

 

Why does someone stay in an abusive relationship?

1. Leaving can be dangerous - 72% of all victims are separated from their abusers at the time of injury and 75% of all victims of domestic violence who are killed by their partners are killed after separation.
2. Leaving is a process. The battered partner will leave 7-9 times before permanently separating from their abuser. The first time is to test to see if the abuser will seek help or stop abusing them. The victim may leave again to gain more information about the resources available.
3. They hope the abuser will change.
4. They are afraid they won't be able to make it on their own; especially without a job or skills needed to get a job.
5. They love their partner.
6. They think that once the batterer recognizes how serious the abuse is becoming, they will stop.
7. They believe the promises of, "I won't do it again".
8. They don't want to break up the family.
9. They fear the abuser's threats of reprisal against themselves, friends and family.
10. They have been met with silence and/or denial when they turn for help from police, courts, clergy, family, friends, and social services.
11. They are isolated from friends and family; people with whom they could make contacts.

 

Why do they batter?

We may never fully understand why abuse occurs. Some "reasons" for battering may be: The batterer:

1. Was abused/witnessed abuse as a child.
2. Is an emotionally dependent individual or has a psychological need for control.
3. Believes that he/she has the right to control others and has been rewarded by getting what he/she wants through violent behavior.

 

Does alcohol or drug abuse cause the abuse?

Alcohol is involved in about half of battering situations, but is not the cause. According to one study, one third of abusive men are violent only when they are drunk, one third are abusive whether drunk or sober, and one third do not drink at all. Many batterers use drinking as an excuse for the violence and deny that abuse is a problem.

 

Don't you think that sometimes the abuse is provoked?

It is possible to provoke anger, but violent behavior is the responsibility of the violent person. Batterers who say they were provoked only serve to permit them to see themselves as victims and as an excuse for their use of violence with their partners. Battered victims seek to placate, accommodate, and please their partner.

 

How do police respond to domestic calls?

Laws have changed during the past several years requiring police to receive more domestic violence training, inform victims of their rights, and enable them to make arrests if there is probable cause. Overall, police response is better than ever before and more arrests are being made.

 

Is there an increase in domestic violence or more reporting?

Domestic violence has existed for centuries. Rather than an increase in domestic violence, we believe that there has been an increase in the awareness of domestic violence. However, we do believe that there has been an escalation in the severity of violence over the past several years.

 

What should you do if you know of someone who is being abused?

• Help the victim find community resources. Call ACCESS-York for information and referrals.
• Assure confidentiality. ACCESS-York keeps all information given confidential.
  
• Believe the victim and give support.
  
• Listen to the victim. Encourage the victim to talk and share emotions. It is therapeutic.
  
• Allow the victim to make their own decisions. You may feel the need to "take charge" and protect the victim. However, victims need to make their own choices rather than be told what to do.
  
• Show respect. Support the victim's decisions, even if you disagree.
  
• Be patient. Do not rush the victim. It could take several months to several years before the individual is ready to leave an abusive situation.
  
• Share safety tips. Help the victim to develop a safety plan.

 

What are some safety tips?

1. Trust your instincts - if you are uncomfortable, leave or end the relationship.
   
2. If you suspect that your partner is abusive, don't be alone with him/her.
   
3. Make sure you have your own money - either to pay your own way or at least enough to get home.
   
4. Do not allow yourself to become isolated from your friends or family.
   
5. Introduce your partner to your friends and family.
   
6. If abuse occurs, don't keep it a secret. Tell someone you trust.
   
7. Do not allow your partner to control your life - clothes, friends, activities, etc. This control leads to abuse.
   
8. Know the phone number of police, the local domestic violence program, and other available resources.
   

 

Is anything being done for those who abuse?

Lutheran Social Services sponsors a group called ADVANCE that focuses on abusive behavior with the goal of learning to relate in non-abusive and non-controlling ways. Each participant goes through an interview, assessment and orientation. Thereafter, the abuser continues with the group for 26 weeks (one two hour session each week). There is no such thing as being "cured", however. The individual who has been abusive must work every day at not being controlling and abusive. Another group similar to ADVANCE is a group conducted by the York County Probation Department. Their group is only 13 weeks long and attended by individuals who have violated their PFA Order.

 

Aren't men battered too?

Yes, nationally men constitute 5-7% of the domestic violence census. Battering also occurs in gay/lesbian relationships. Of the victims seen at ACCESS, only 3-5% are men. If unsure who is the victim of domestic violence in a relationship, look at who is in the most fear.

 

Does ACCESS offer help to abused men?

ACCESS offers the same services to abused males as they do to females.

 

Does ACCESS see abuse of children?

A major study of more than 900 children with battered women's shelters found that nearly 70% of children were victims of physical abuse or neglect. Also, the emotional effects of witnessing domestic violence are very similar to the psychological trauma associated with being a victim of child abuse.

 

What is the impact of domestic violence on children?

One-third of the children who witness the battering of their mother demonstrate significant behavioral and/or emotional problems, including psychosomatic disorders, stuttering, anxiety and fears, sleep disruption, excessive crying and school problems.

 

Does ACCESS still take donations?

Since the 2000 fire at the shelter and in order to assure the safety of those we serve, ACCESS is no longer accepting clothing and general donations at the site of our York City shelter. We ask that you continue to make your clothing and household donations through our partnering community agencies such as the York Rescue Mission and Helping Hands for the Homeless among others. These agencies have agreed to provide those we serve with the items they need. ACCESS maintains an updated Wish List. If anyone has a question about the agency's needs, they can call the Administration Building at 717-845-8226. Anyone interested in donating to our Hanover shelter can call Still Waters at 717-637-2235.